Ramblings From a Bad Day

Can I just say, today was awful! :( It seems like I fought with everybody today. Some of it got resolved but some of it didn't. Last year was really the worst of my entire life. I went through things I wouldn't wish on anyone. But I've learned a lot and I think I've come to the place where I wouldn't trade those experiences. Which is huge growth for me. I've always had a problem with regret and wishing that I could turn back time and change things. But I've changed. I know that I am a stronger, more confident, and closer to God than ever before.
So back to today, I learned that the best thing for me to do after running into a rough spot is to start singing praise songs. It really helped me to get my focus back in the right place. I just think about how much God has done for me, and how He has never handed me more than I can handle. And when I need Him to, He carries me. Today I needed Him to, and He did. Right away. I figured out that the reason sometimes it takes so long to feel my burden lighten is that it takes me so long to turn to God. It's funny, sometimes I give friends verses to encourage them and it turns out to encourage me. The one I had sent today ended up coming to my mind as I needed it, maybe more than this person did! One of the verses of the passage was "cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you." It's amazing how God uses the thing that we're trying to do for other people to help us. In fact, service always helps us. Whenever I am actively involved in a ministry or service it gets my focus off of myself and my problems and onto loving the person or people I'm serving. Suddenly it puts everything into perspective. I love how God's model for how to live our lives is actually the way that we best function. It's not a matter of Him taking away our problems when we serve or have our lives in line, it's the fact that we have the tools to handle whatever comes our way. Such as the ability to not blow things out of proportion when we are caring for others, or the grace to forgive people when we're truly focusing on how we've been forgiven so much. So even though today was pretty rough, I learned once again how to lean on God. His yoke is easy and His burden is light.
Sorry this post is a little rambling...that's what happens when I write stream of consciousness style. :)

Justice and Love

I realized as I was reading through my journal that I keep on my daily devotions that I hadn't written a blog on anything that I had read in Leviticus. So before I share what I'm currently learning as I read Numbers, I'll post this short blog about my overall impression of Leviticus. The book of Leviticus is mostly about the rules that God sets up for the new nation of Israel. A lot of these rules are things that we don't follow anymore, such as the laws for mildew in houses or what not to eat. It may be puzzling to think about the difference between how we perceive the New Testament God and the Old Testament God. Yes, we do have a different relationship with God after Christ came; the new covenant sets up the possibility for a closer and more personal relationship with God. But I think that sometimes we think of God as one or the other, the Old Testament God full of justice, or the New Testament God of love and mercy. I think that it's a mistake to separate these aspects of God and to choose which side we want Him to be. The way that I see it, the fact that God finds sin so disgusting and is so full of justice only furthers the scope of His love for us. After reading all that He had the Israelites do to be His nation I saw how truly far we are from hitting the mark. I know that we are no longer under the law in the same way, but the benefit I find in reading the law is remembering that side of God's character. It is His justice and law that makes His mercy and love for us so amazing. He saw how far we fall short and took the punishment on Himself so that He could be with us. "Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." But then remember that it was our own actions that made it necessary for him to lay down his life for us, and he still willingly did. There is no greater love than God's for us. There is no greater justice and truth than God's. And those two traits increase the value of the other. Negating one diminishes the value of the other.

Happy New Year!

It's been a little while since I've written, the holidays were a bit insane! Our Jr High New Year's sleepover was a huge success. We had 10 kids show up when last year there were only 5. It was a ton of fun, a little hyperactive but fun! My sister Joey and I were pretty exhausted the next day though. We didn't have a chance to sleep in so we decided to have a fun but unproductive day. We went and had a nice lunch at Maggiano's and spent the remainder of the day at one of my favorite places in the world, The Tattered Cover.
I made a few resolutions this year. It's not something I usually do, but I've never been a very disciplined person and that's something I'd really like to change. Plus this new year actually feels like a new start to me. After the trials of 2009 I'm so happy to make a lot of changes and lead a new life that starts now. As most of you know, one of my goals is to run the Colorado Marathon in May. Obviously that's not a New Year's resolution because I've been running for a while now and it takes a long time to build up to running 26.2 miles. But it is a more recent change in my life and I'm excited to complete that goal come May! The rest of my resolutions are silly little personal things, just better day to day habits that I've needed to implement.
I've been working on my jewelry a lot and now have a goal of being in the gallery I work at by February. It's totally attainable I just have to keep at it and find time to be in my studio. My brother and parents got me some more metalsmithing tools for Christmas, so I really have pretty much everything I need now to be fully operational! I still need mom to find that enameling kiln of her's though...I also got a Nikon digital camera for Christmas so I don't have to wait for Dan to take pictures! :) (He's way better at it than I am, but let's face it he's busy and if there's one thing I passed on to my dear brother it's procrastination) So pretty soon I'll post pictures of my latest jewelry on here. I'm also working on a mural for a kid's bedroom from church. It'll be super sweet when I'm done.
As far as music goes, I've really been enjoying WPA lately. It's Sean Watkin's (from Nickel Creek, always a favorite) new band. I've also been listening to the Wailin' Jennys, an old favorite but they've just fit my mood so well lately. I've been reading in Numbers lately. I'll write another post soon in more detail of what I've been getting out of my daily devotions.