Learning Things About Myself

When I was a little girl I loved The Chronicles of Narnia. I mean LOVED. I secretly thought I could have a similar adventure. I figured it wasn't so out of the realm of possibility, after all with all that God has created in this vast universe, why wouldn't He create life somewhere else. And why wouldn't different rules apply that we would call "magic." As I grew up I slowly (and sadly) came to the realization that I wasn't going to be whisked away to another world to have an adventure. Yet the longing for such an experience never left. I've always had a wanderlust, which fit my childhood full of moving all over the country. Every now and then I have such a strong desire to pick up and move somewhere exotic or to a land with a rich history. I can picture me going all by myself to Scotland's University of St Andrew to get my master's in art history (concentrating on Bernini's sculptures). But I realized that I really do like having a home to come back to. I love being near my family and having a church home full of good friends. Sometimes I can be such a loner that I forget how important those relationships are to me. I like quiet evenings and nighttime walks alone to study the stars. I love reading and listening to music, or going to movies by myself. Being around people too much can exhaust me. I suppose part of that is because of my introspective and pensive nature. Also for the most part, I feel like the majority of people don't really know me. I'm good at hiding my true nature, I always seem to be such a social being, but I find it hard to talk to most people on a deeper level. So I wind up having mostly surface relationships with most and few that ever delve deeper than that. I guess I'm a lot like my dad in that way. But I've realized that I wouldn't have been able to make it through this summer's trials with out my amazing family and my new friends at church. I have such an amazing support system! And as much of a loner as I can be, I know that I long for someone that I can share my thoughts with on that deeper level. I think so often that prefer to be alone because I always feel lonely and at least when I'm actually alone I don't have to pretend.
Anyways, the point of all of that was that I've learned that I need both my alone time and my friends and family. I need both the adventure and the home. So my plan is that instead of moving to Europe, I'm going to plan a trip there for this fall. By myself for probably at least a month. Then I'll have my adventure but have a great home to come back to.
Another adventure coming up in my future is going to be opening my own business. Right now I'm working on making enough jewelry to have it carried at my work. (I already know the owners are interested) and then eventually I'll open my own store with jewelry, clothing, and paintings all of my own creation. I already have a name thanks to Hannah! It's going to be called The Parliament with an owl on the sign. It, and the name of this blog, are derived from the old English naming of groups of birds. Like an exaltation of larks, a watch of nightingales, a murder of crows, an ostentation of peacocks, or an unkindness of ravens. This combines both my love of birds, especially owls, and a reference to literature. Right now I just have to figure out the business side of selling my jewelry at work. I'm excited for Tuesday because I get to meet a girl that works at the Squash Blossom in Vail (I work at the Colorado Springs Squash Blossom) that sells her jewelry in our stores. I can't wait to pick her brain! :)